Saturday, March 29, 2014

Narcissistic Personality Traits

When I finally discovered there is such a thing as a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) I mentally checked off each trait that I had seen in D. Aha! I'm not crazy or overreacting or oversensitive... or being a bitch.

It was eye opening and subsequently, life changing.

I wrote a long post about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) traits to accompany the post about Passive Aggressive (Negativistic) Personality (PA) traits, and checked off which traits D exhibits. I checked all but one box.
I'm repeating the list below.

The underlined traits in the list below are links to stories about how D has demonstrated that trait. As things happen, or as I remember things, I'll add them to the stories.

I'm doing this for two reasons:
  1. I'd like to put all the evidence of our dysfunctional relationship in one place.
  2. As I learn about this, I'm finding a lot of help and validation from others who have been in my shoes - some have had a shorter relationship, some have had a more extreme relationship. Regardless, their stories helped me to see that what was "normal" for my household is not normal, healthy behavior. Maybe my stories will help someone else realize what's going on so they can get also help or get out.
 Disclaimer: D has not been clinically tested, and probably never will be, so I can't actually say he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. All I can do is recognize that he tends to have these characteristics, and proceed with the rest of my life with that in mind. So many little quirks of his personality match  the characteristics of this disorder.

    Narcissistic Personality Traits

    Disregards the feelings of others, and haslittle ability to feel empathy.
    Sees no wrong in personally attacking others, or completely ignoring you 
    Being told "no" comes off as a personal attack
    Is oblivious to his own disorder 
    Treats others as sub-human, but sees it as "they way it should be."
    Has few friends.
    Is asocial when no attention from others is available.
    A belief that he or she is unique or "special" and should only associate with other people of the same status, and can only be understood by other special people.
    A constant need for attention, affirmation and praise. Requires excessive admiration.
    Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
    Has a sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment and that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants. Has obsessive self-interest.

    An exaggerated sense of one's own abilities and achievements.
    Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.)
    Are self-centered and boastful. Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
    Feeling envious of others, or believing thatothers are envious of him or her.
    Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame, and humiliation.
    Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others.
    Are easily hurt but might not show it.

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