I'm thankful for...

• Wild caught fresh albacore tuna in the fridge, from a neighbor
• Real cream in my coffee
• My dad, who is always looking out for me
• Getting two more boxes of crap cleaned out last night
• A sparkling clean bathroom
• Waking up early today
• Clean laundry, dried on the clothesline
• Goofy, cuddly pets
• Knowing what I need to do today to help me reach my goals
• The power of Pinterest, for helping me to envision myself in my own place
• Having a full day ahead of me to get stuff done
• Being able to accept that last week was kind of wasted, but I have a new week coming where I can start fresh
• Scented candles and loud music
• Having cash in my purse so I can pay some utilities on Monday (thank you Dad)
• Being accepted on food stamps. Things always have a way of working out. Financially, I didn't leap - the edge crumbled under my feet. And still, the net appears.

Every night in bed, I visualize the same thing: I'm at work somewhere, and it's payday, which comes around every two weeks. Someone is going around the office handing out paychecks (or paystubs for direct deposit) and I'm handed an envelope. I look inside and see a paycheck made out to me for $1,308.00 and I sigh a HUGE sigh of relief. I tell myself, "Everything will be ok."

Every night it's the same check for $1,308.00, and every night I sigh and tell myself, "Everything will be ok." I've been doing this for over a month.

Last night was different. After I saw the check, sighed, and told myself everything will be ok, I saw myself sitting down to pay all the bills. For the last umpteen years, paying bills has been overwhelmingly stressful because the money hasn't been there. We've been struggling for so long I have a hard time remembering when we were able to pay all the bills and still have some left over for savings. So as I continued watching the visualization, I opened the bills and added them up. Then added them up again. Laying in bed, I counted on my fingers the bills we actually have, and tallied up how much we pay for this and that every month. The visualization was correct.

Holy crap, we have money left over, and the $1,308.00 is a bi-weekly paycheck. I'll get another $1,308.00 in two weeks. Holy crap, I'm going to have a lot of money left over.
(Last year, D decided to change his job and now earns a mere pittance; enough to cover rent but nothing more.)

Last night it actually hit me. Everything will be ok. 
I'm just going to continue being thankful for everything that comes my way and picturing my paycheck every night.