Passive Aggressive (Negativistic) Personality Traits

A while back, I posted about cruising around the internet to see how I go about getting a divorce. One link about passive aggressive behavior led to another link about personality disorders, and I ended up going down the rabbit hole again.

I wrote a long post about Passive Aggressive (Negativistic) Personality (PA) traits to accompany the post about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) traits. While D has most of the NPD characteristics, I recognize that he is very very passive. On top of the narcissistic traits, he has all of the passive-aggressive traits below, which were gathered from several websites.which seems to describe D perfectly. The PA traits fit D even more so than NPD.

By the way, apparently, Psychiatrists no longer recognize the Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder condition as an official diagnosis, but it is still recognized as a condition which causes problems for people.
Don't I know it!

I'm repeating the list of Passive Aggressive traits below.

The underlined traits in the list below are links to stories about how D has demonstrated that trait. As things happen, or as I remember things, I'll add them to the stories.

I'm doing this for two reasons:

1. I'd like to put all the evidence of our dysfunctional relationship in one place.
2. As I learn about this, I'm finding a lot of help and validation from others who have been in my shoes - some have had a shorter relationship, some have had a more extreme relationship. Regardless, their stories helped me to see that what was "normal" for my household is not normal, healthy behavior. Maybe my stories will help someone else realize what's going on so they can get also help or get out.

Disclaimer:
D has not been clinically tested, and probably never will be, so I can't actually say he has any sort of recognized or non-recognized Passive Aggressive Personality condition. All I can do is recognize that he tends to have these characteristics, and proceed with the rest of my life with that in mind. So many little quirks of his personality match the characteristics of this disorder.

Passive Aggressive (Negativistic)  Personality Traits

Acting sullen, easily offended, being disagreeable and irritable.

Intentional avoidance of responsibility by claiming forgetfulness. Using inaction to let a problem escalate.

Being inefficient on purpose, contradictory and inconsistent behavior, performing in a manner that is not useful and sometimes even damaging.

Blaming others.

Complaining about being unappreciated, criticizing or protesting, chronically impatient.

Feeling resentment, resentful of useful suggestions or demands from others.

Having a fear of authority. Argumentative, sulky, and hostile, especially toward authority figures.

Having unexpressed anger or hostility and acting hostile or cynical, going to self-destructive lengths to seek vengeance.

Procrastinating, temporary compliance, intentional avoidance of responsibility, or compliance too late to be helpful.

Stubbornness, resisting other people's suggestions.

Sabotaging the action to show anger that they cannot express in words, hidden but conscious revenge.

Doing things to punish others when they feel wronged.

Sources:
http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/passive-aggressive-personality-disorder/overview.html
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/200912/the-five-levels-passive-aggressive-behavior
http://www.med.nyu.edu/content?chunkiid=96685
http://www.healthline.com/health/passive-aggressive-personality-disorder