Narcissistic Personality Disorder traits

One evening, I was cruising around the internet to see how I go about getting a divorce. One link about passive aggressive behavior led to another link about personality disorders, and I ended up going down the rabbit hole again.

When I landed on a page describing a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) I think my jaw dropped with a crash, and stayed on the floor until I was done reading. At about 4 or 5am.

While D has not been clinically tested, and probably never will be, I decided to proceed with the rest of my life as if he does have NPD, since the characteristics of this disorder matches so many little quirks of his personality.

The list of traits is below, from what I gathered from several websites, and I have added a ☑ in front of trait I have seen in D. (Which is all but one, but for all I know there could be a disconnect between what happens at work and what he tells me.) I have at least a handful of stories about how he has displayed each of the checked items.

☑  Lacks empathy - sees no wrong in personally attacking others, or completely ignoring you

☑  Being told "no" comes off as a personal attack

☑   Is oblivious to his own disorder

☑  Treats others as sub-human, but sees it as "they way it should be"

☑  Has few friends

☑   Is asocial when no attention from others is available

☑  A belief that he or she is unique or "special" and should only associate with other people of the same status, and can only be understood by other special people.

☑  A constant need for attention, affirmation and praise. Requires excessive admiration.

☑  Disregards the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy.

☑   Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

☑   Has a sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment and that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants. Has obsessive self-interest.

☑  An exaggerated sense of one's own abilities and achievements.

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.)

☑  Are self-centered and boastful. Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

☑  Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of him or her.

☑   Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame, and humiliation.

☑  Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others.

☑  Are easily hurt but might not show it.

☑  Exploits other people for personal gain. Pursues mainly selfish goals.

Sources:
http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/topic119161.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001930/

http://psychology.about.com/od/personalitydisorders/a/narcissisticpd.htm

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/neurological_institute/center-for-behavorial-health/disease-conditions/hic-narcissistic-personality-disorder.aspx

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder-symptoms/