I'm thankful for...

• A check for  $160.03  that arrived in the mail today, out of the blue.
• An unexpected gift of  $225  to the kid who just started their first job yesterday.* The gift will pay for desperately needed work clothes. (And the kid was down to only one pair of jeans in their wardrobe, so we got a pair of jeans today, too.)
• Sunshine and temps in the 60s!
• The heavenly smell in the air from all the spring flowers and tree blossoms. 
• Laundry detergent. It's always a good thing. Clean clothes are very nice to have.
• My bank. Seriously, I love my bank. Yes, I know I'm weird; thank you. The tellers are great guys who are fun to talk to, everyone knows me by name, my banker and loan officer is the same person (and she says hi when she sees me around town) and I always walk out of there with a big grin on my face. I love my bank. (I'm gonna miss those guys when I move way across the city.)
• Phone call with an old high school friend - she's one of those friends where you don't see each other for years and can pick up where you left off when you do reconnect.
• Going out for supper with the kid after a day shopping. 
• Running into a dear old friend at the restaurant. 
• A new-ish friend stopped by my home for the first time today and I gave her the disclaimer "Sorry about the mess," then proceeded to give her the nickel tour. We had a short but fun visit. The kids showed off their new sports gear and we giggled at the really lame jokes spewing from the mouth of my eldest.
• I spent quality time with people I love.
  Today felt normal and happy and absolutely perfect. 
• Coffee. I love my coffee. I'm always thankful for a well made cup of coffee.

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Hmm.
It's interesting...
Every day I give thanks for having cash in my purse or having enough money to get by. (Hey, if I have a penny in my purse, I have cash in my purse, so I honestly believe it when I say "I have cash in my purse.")

Our household finances are scraping the bottom of the barrel and we're literally digging coins out of the couch to pump maybe a gallon of gas in the car. The cupboards are bare. We suddenly have an urgent need for money (mandatory work clothes) on top of being low on toilet paper and out of milk. It's another 9 days of holding our breath until D's payday.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, money appears. Our needs are met.

BTW, the $160.03 was the return of a deposit (plus interest) that I paid 5 years ago for something. I had forgotten all about it.

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*Working kid was told, "Sorry, you can't wear jeans to work. And you'll need specific other clothes when you come in for your next shift." Ack! We have no money until the first of the month, and the cupboards are already bare. How are we going to buy the clothes? I posted some furniture for sale on Craigslist yesterday, and Thank God the gift and check arrived today because nobody called about my Craigslist ad.

Sorry I'm being cryptic about which kid/gender and what kind of job. Staying under D's radar...

My Beaus

For the past few years, I have had a handful of beaus who, for the most part, have taken extremely good care of me. In fact, it was their consideration for my feelings, my happiness, and my safety* that made me realize that something was indeed very very wrong and dysfunctional with my marriage.

True, I met each one of them initially for a singular purpose, but apparently we chose each other carefully, as I now consider them good friends. We can talk to each other about stresses, worries, dreams unfulfilled, past regrets and how we'll do things differently if the chance comes up, etc. We check in with each other a few times a week, to say hi or to tease each other, and occasionally make plans to see each other.

A few didn't stick around, which is ok. A couple were kind of creepy. Only one pursued me relentlessly to the point where I felt it was a little too much - apparently I am talented in certain areas - but was respectful when I asked him for a little breathing room.

At any given time, I have about 3 regulars. Some are married, some are single. None of them know each other, but they are all aware that each other exists.

My beaus: T, B, and S

I love them each in different ways and for different reasons.

Most importantly, though, I love them all for helping me to see what I have at home. I never would have seen what's going on at home without being able to experience their compassion.




*When I mention consideration for my safety, I am not only talking about safe sex. I actually am referring to a real life incident a few years ago, where I accidentally cut myself badly at an inconvenient time, in an even more inconvenient place, and had to be rushed to the doctor for stitches. Had this happened with D, he would have thought I cut myself on purpose, would have grumbled about having to drive me to the doctor, and has never asked me how I am. I have leftover scar tissue that continues to bother me on occasion and probably always will. The beau I was with that day still occasionally asks how I'm doing.